People can be awesome

I am fortunate that people are so caring. They are so concerned because I have not been out. I do not know how they can be out! It is too hot for me but not for mere mortals. I hear them call me but I am not venturing out to see them. I do appreciate them. I am fortunate that they care. I feel I should put a sign out so people will know how I am. I feel horrible for not meeting them at the fence. But really. It is hot. I would rather stay below where it is cool and I can listen to my stereo in peace. But thanks!

Oh These Vegas Summers!

I used to love the summer. It is hot and wonderful. But as the summer crawls on, I realize the heat becomes hotter and I cannot sit in it like I used to. I am getting old. So I come out incredibly early in the morning and sometimes, on a good day, in the evening. I love the evening before the sun goes down. There is something magical about that time of day. Like the fairies come out to play. Ah, I am seemingly nostalgic today. It is the heat. 
Yesterday a man stopped the female and asked her where I was. He comes by every day to talk to me but I am not out. I seem to wilt as I sit outside to visit. I do not understand when this happened but it has. *sigh* It makes me melancholy. 
Last night it rained and for a moment, I wished that I liked the darkness. I would have danced in the rain. That is right: tortoises dance.  It is a sight to see.
I am taking myself to bed. My internet has been spotty in my house. So I will give it a rest. 

Incognito

I have been stealthy. I have not gone to the front. Or greeted my minions at the fence. I have been hiding in my hole. Except....no one can say for sure that is where I am! Who is small enough to crawl down (besides the annoying dog) to check? NO ONE! And I like it that way. I like the quiet of my home. I like the coolness. Because it is really, really hot. Who can stand that heat? Not I! And I'm from the deserts of Africa! Obviously I have acclimated. Every day my female human comes to check on me. And I am not out. I hear her call me. I hear her foot steps. And she leaves me treats. But I am not going out. Have I mentioned the heat? It burns my shell! And I am delicate!  Truly. You would not believe it, looking at me, but I am. 

Two days ago I decided to let her know I was around. But she did not come out side. I like to think she saw me through the window, doing my speed grazing (she did!). I hope they water the grass soon. I do not like brown grass. It sticks to my teeth.

The weather is......

I have a spot in the yard that I love, especially in the heat. Now don't get me wrong. I love the heat. I love it so much that I'm in hiding for the hottest part of the day. What sane person would be out in the heat???? I am not even human and I don't do it! But I have a spot. It's under the tree in the front yard. It is a cypress type tree with the branches to the ground. Birds live in the upper branches. Under it, where I love, is a dirt pit that I worked really hard on last summer. It was going to be my second home. I did enjoy my space for a bit this summer. But that stupid cat comes outside and uses part of it as litter and then spreads her furry butt over it. She stole my spot! She sits and glares at me. If I did not like cats, I would scare the bejeebers out of her so I could have it back. It would not bother me as much if she shared. But she is a greedy, selfish cat. I may have to take her out.

I especially love that space because no one can see me. Not a person. Except my female human. She knows where I am at all times. Sort of. I loved hissing at the mail man when he walked by. Instead, I hang out in the yard because that cat took my spot. Yep. I think it is time to take care of that cat. 

Mwahahahaha

She thought she thwarted my escapes! She did everything she thought she could to keep me in. Yesterday I waited until she was gone.....and made my escape! The neighbor boy caught me. Lured me back with an apple. Smarty pants kid! When she got home, she put up new fencing and wired everything shut. Now I am stuck in the back yard with the boring grass.  The front yard has the good grass! It is what happens when I get too smart.
During one of my escapades, I hurt my leg. I have a spur missing on one side. It is just a gaping hole. It does not hurt. She was poking at it a bit today. She will keep an eye on it to make sure it does not get infected. She is very good that way.
She said she would find me a new home if I kept up with these shenanigans. I do not want a new home. I like my home. Sometimes, though, a body has to explore to appreciate the home.  I am not saying I will not escape again...I just have to find a better way...where it takes her longer to figure it out.  It is like a game.  I like games. :^)

FREEDOM!!!!!

I have channeled Mel Gibson's Braveheart character....without dying. I figured out a way to leave my world and visit the other yards. I did not get far. The next door neighbor's grass called to me. Maybe because it is more weed than grass. I do not know. I only know I did not get far from my fence.
This morning she locked me in the back yard. Like that will stop me! She heard I was out yesterday and wanted to make sure it did not happen again. Ha! Little did she know! I heard her put the lock on the gate so I could not push it open. Still I escaped.
She was amazed that I was out. I had a crowd of people standing close by. Some acted like I was a monster and shook. I felt them. She came to me and said, "Let's go." Two men, who thought she was weak, said they would carry me back to my yard. She said no. To leave me alone. But they did not listen. As they lifted me, their hands tucked where my legs go, I sucked myself in, pinching their fingers. One man screamed and they dropped me. If they had only listened.
I like the sound of her voice and will follow it anywhere. It is the only way she herded me home. The girl across the street had an apple for me but that did not lure me into the yard. She searched the back yard for my escape route, keeping me in the front yard.  She found nothing.  She went inside, leaving me in the front.
And then I escaped again!
No crowds this time. She herded me back and tricked me into the back yard.  She found my escape route from the back to the front.....darn it! And she blocked it.  And then she found my escape route in the FRONT yard! That's right...I did not escape from the back.....I walked under the fence and out into the world. She fixed the fence. Still, it was an awfully big adventure!

Finally!

The man turned the water on to water my plants.  He filled my usual watering holes and fixed it so all my scrumptious plants will grow. And he gave me a bath. It felt wonderful having the cool water wash over my shell and hit my feet. I love the smell of freshly watered food. :)

The last two days have had a gaggle of children walking by my domain. Yesterday they walked ever so slowly as they went by. Some of them looked so wide eyed and awed. I do love that look. Today, as they walked back to the school, a few pointed and squealed, giggled, and the teachers laughed. I rubbed against the fence. Had they asked, I would have stopped so they could touch my awesomeness.  

I did startle the UPS man. That is always a thrill for me.  A very grand day indeed.

It is official!

It is Spring! I am so excited! It is warm and sunny. I have sweet new grass to eat and scrumptious roses to nibble. I have new fans and I greet each of them.  My female servant put up an address sign and I have decided to let it stay. It is not in my way, after all. Some days, though, I hit it just to knock off the numbers.  It amuses me.
I heard she almost got me a bunny. I miss the bunny. I'm glad she did not get one. Because it would not be the one that left and I truly loved the one that left. She was my friend.
Feeling sad now.

Not wind or rain or cold will stop me

Check it out! Yesterday my human female was outside planting an address pole. I knew I had to help her. It is my job.  She gave me gobs of food to distract me.  And it worked!  She is a grand female!

Today I had tires squealing as I walked my perimeter. And I decided I was tired of the dogs always taking food from me.  So I did something about it: I chased the little annoying dog.  I heard my female laugh as I charged the little dog and she thought she could stand up to me.  Then she tucked tail and ran.

I am collecting quite a few people in my club. Today three teenagers were talking very thuggish as they walked. Then they saw me and stopped.  Suddenly, they dropped their thug talk and acted like teenage boys. I have that affect on people. I cause traffic jams and parking issues. But my favorite is the little children.  They do not know if they should scream and cry or laugh and touch me.

It is great being me.

Can't get enough!

It is so wonderful to have this weather!  I spend hours outside. I travel my route and stop briefly when people are at the fence.  Yesterday someone came to cut my grass.  It was pretty tall but I loved it because I could hide.  People thought I was a rock until I moved. When they were finished with the yard, they left the gate open.  I did not go near it.  Since my last experience walking out the gate, I do not see myself repeating that!  Too scary!  My human closed the gate, patted my head, and wandered away.  She truly knows me. 

Spring is in the Air!

I love Spring. It is the time of year where I can show off my new size, clear my home of any loose dirt, and see if there are new foods for me to crunch. It is truly a good life.

I heard my female human talking to a man today. He stood at the fence, staring at me for a very long time. He called me a desert tortoise!  The insult! I am much more superior than one of those. *sniff* I ran to her. She has treats for me.  Today she had corn on the cob.  Yesterday she had strawberries and blueberries. And my male human was pulling weeds in bare feet. I saw his little toes and wanted a bite but he is very spry for his size and got away.

I scared one person today. My grass is quite high in the front yard.  Where it touches the spruce tree, it creates a cave. A man came to the gate and started talking to my human.  I had to be near her and came out of hiding. He jumped back from the gate, clutching his chest. I do love dramatic people.  Then he giggled like a little boy. It was hilarious! 

My female human cleaned the back yard for me so I no longer have an obstacle course to get where I want to go.  She said she will move the dirt from my home opening so I do not hit the swing when I come out.  I love my yard and home.  

Finally, because I have not written (winter, you know), I have new room mates. Cats.  Who knew I would like having cats live in my home?  The female human thinks the cats will have kittens down there.  I hope not.  I would hate to squish a little furball.

Spring is in the air!

I LOVE the taste of new grass!  The sweetness as I swallow it.  There is nothing like it.  Except for Dandelions. I am especially fond of dandelions.  My girl has a dandelion growing in a pot. It mocks me. So I rammed the pot and knocked it over.  Now I cannot bring myself to eat it. I stalk by it every day on my rounds and stare at it. But I cannot eat it.  One day.....

Two days ago she came out and I was so happy to see her.  I ran to her and she patted my head. I love when she skritches me behind my ears. Then she gave me a little dog food. It was a glorious day!

I am getting new fans. Yesterday someone followed me with her camera, trying to get a picture.  I am all about the action pictures. I do not like to pose unless it is my girl. But she always gets my good side. ^.^

I am glad it is Spring. I am glad it is warm.  I am glad I have a bountiful amount of grass, roses, and apricots to eat.

Ah, Spring is in the air!

I am pleased to be out!  I sit in my sunning corner on the driveway, relaxing, pondering.  Twice now the human girl opened the door, slamming into me.  Those dogs.  Like they need to come out my way.  There are other doors, for crying out loud!

Yesterday I had an audience while I sunned.  There were groups of people throughout the day but the first group was the loudest.  They kept yelling at me to move.  I do not move for anyone.  Ask the human woman.  I move when there is food involved and that is the only time.  Okay. Not the only time. When the door is open, I find myself moving to go inside. Sometimes I have to go through her house so that I can appreciate the freedom I have and the coolness of my own home.  Anyway, I did not even glance at those spectators.  I am not a sport.  As it gets warmer, I will be more social. Well, not really social.  I am very select about who touches me.  I have a gentleman in a wheelchair that wears white every day.  He calls to me and I find myself answering him.  He is the only one I let pet me, aside from my family.  He is very nice.

Ah, Spring. I am glad it is coming.  I love those fresh sprouts, the sunshine, and the clean air.  Well, as clean as possible in Las Vegas.  I will be glad to leave here.  One day.

Sunday Quiet Sunday

Today was sunny.  But I did not go out because it was still wet in my little world.  I can smell the new grass and can not wait until the sun is out and it is warmer.

On a side note, I am glad I have the kitties as company.  Otherwise, this winter would have been very lonely.  I did not realize how much I loved having company until my white bunny went away.  I have two kitties now.  I know one is a boy.  I hope the other is not a girl. I do not want babies in my warren.

Until sunny, warm weather.....tata!

Rain....bah.....

Last week was a great week!  The little rat dog would not come near me....and I was by the door!  She squeezed out to go outside but going back in...I hiss at her.  Since she chased my roommate away, I have no patience for her. I have new roommates but they are not the same.

I also frightened the human daughter.  It made me giggle in my hissy way.  She went outside to get catnip and stumbled over me.  I do love scaring people.

My humans left the gate open so I could go to the front yard.  There is some very sweet grass there.  But I am afraid to go in the front yard.  Last time did not go well and I do not trust other humans that are not mine.  My male human said he would put a padlock on the fence and give a key to the humans of the house.  I know the female human likes the idea. If they do that, I will trim the grass in the front.

Today I am in my house with my friendly cats. I will probably be there all week since it is supposed to rain all week.  My internal weather station says so.  Ah well.  It's like my own little vacation.