People can be awesome

I am fortunate that people are so caring. They are so concerned because I have not been out. I do not know how they can be out! It is too hot for me but not for mere mortals. I hear them call me but I am not venturing out to see them. I do appreciate them. I am fortunate that they care. I feel I should put a sign out so people will know how I am. I feel horrible for not meeting them at the fence. But really. It is hot. I would rather stay below where it is cool and I can listen to my stereo in peace. But thanks!

Oh These Vegas Summers!

I used to love the summer. It is hot and wonderful. But as the summer crawls on, I realize the heat becomes hotter and I cannot sit in it like I used to. I am getting old. So I come out incredibly early in the morning and sometimes, on a good day, in the evening. I love the evening before the sun goes down. There is something magical about that time of day. Like the fairies come out to play. Ah, I am seemingly nostalgic today. It is the heat. 
Yesterday a man stopped the female and asked her where I was. He comes by every day to talk to me but I am not out. I seem to wilt as I sit outside to visit. I do not understand when this happened but it has. *sigh* It makes me melancholy. 
Last night it rained and for a moment, I wished that I liked the darkness. I would have danced in the rain. That is right: tortoises dance.  It is a sight to see.
I am taking myself to bed. My internet has been spotty in my house. So I will give it a rest. 

Incognito

I have been stealthy. I have not gone to the front. Or greeted my minions at the fence. I have been hiding in my hole. Except....no one can say for sure that is where I am! Who is small enough to crawl down (besides the annoying dog) to check? NO ONE! And I like it that way. I like the quiet of my home. I like the coolness. Because it is really, really hot. Who can stand that heat? Not I! And I'm from the deserts of Africa! Obviously I have acclimated. Every day my female human comes to check on me. And I am not out. I hear her call me. I hear her foot steps. And she leaves me treats. But I am not going out. Have I mentioned the heat? It burns my shell! And I am delicate!  Truly. You would not believe it, looking at me, but I am. 

Two days ago I decided to let her know I was around. But she did not come out side. I like to think she saw me through the window, doing my speed grazing (she did!). I hope they water the grass soon. I do not like brown grass. It sticks to my teeth.

The weather is......

I have a spot in the yard that I love, especially in the heat. Now don't get me wrong. I love the heat. I love it so much that I'm in hiding for the hottest part of the day. What sane person would be out in the heat???? I am not even human and I don't do it! But I have a spot. It's under the tree in the front yard. It is a cypress type tree with the branches to the ground. Birds live in the upper branches. Under it, where I love, is a dirt pit that I worked really hard on last summer. It was going to be my second home. I did enjoy my space for a bit this summer. But that stupid cat comes outside and uses part of it as litter and then spreads her furry butt over it. She stole my spot! She sits and glares at me. If I did not like cats, I would scare the bejeebers out of her so I could have it back. It would not bother me as much if she shared. But she is a greedy, selfish cat. I may have to take her out.

I especially love that space because no one can see me. Not a person. Except my female human. She knows where I am at all times. Sort of. I loved hissing at the mail man when he walked by. Instead, I hang out in the yard because that cat took my spot. Yep. I think it is time to take care of that cat. 

Mwahahahaha

She thought she thwarted my escapes! She did everything she thought she could to keep me in. Yesterday I waited until she was gone.....and made my escape! The neighbor boy caught me. Lured me back with an apple. Smarty pants kid! When she got home, she put up new fencing and wired everything shut. Now I am stuck in the back yard with the boring grass.  The front yard has the good grass! It is what happens when I get too smart.
During one of my escapades, I hurt my leg. I have a spur missing on one side. It is just a gaping hole. It does not hurt. She was poking at it a bit today. She will keep an eye on it to make sure it does not get infected. She is very good that way.
She said she would find me a new home if I kept up with these shenanigans. I do not want a new home. I like my home. Sometimes, though, a body has to explore to appreciate the home.  I am not saying I will not escape again...I just have to find a better way...where it takes her longer to figure it out.  It is like a game.  I like games. :^)

FREEDOM!!!!!

I have channeled Mel Gibson's Braveheart character....without dying. I figured out a way to leave my world and visit the other yards. I did not get far. The next door neighbor's grass called to me. Maybe because it is more weed than grass. I do not know. I only know I did not get far from my fence.
This morning she locked me in the back yard. Like that will stop me! She heard I was out yesterday and wanted to make sure it did not happen again. Ha! Little did she know! I heard her put the lock on the gate so I could not push it open. Still I escaped.
She was amazed that I was out. I had a crowd of people standing close by. Some acted like I was a monster and shook. I felt them. She came to me and said, "Let's go." Two men, who thought she was weak, said they would carry me back to my yard. She said no. To leave me alone. But they did not listen. As they lifted me, their hands tucked where my legs go, I sucked myself in, pinching their fingers. One man screamed and they dropped me. If they had only listened.
I like the sound of her voice and will follow it anywhere. It is the only way she herded me home. The girl across the street had an apple for me but that did not lure me into the yard. She searched the back yard for my escape route, keeping me in the front yard.  She found nothing.  She went inside, leaving me in the front.
And then I escaped again!
No crowds this time. She herded me back and tricked me into the back yard.  She found my escape route from the back to the front.....darn it! And she blocked it.  And then she found my escape route in the FRONT yard! That's right...I did not escape from the back.....I walked under the fence and out into the world. She fixed the fence. Still, it was an awfully big adventure!

Finally!

The man turned the water on to water my plants.  He filled my usual watering holes and fixed it so all my scrumptious plants will grow. And he gave me a bath. It felt wonderful having the cool water wash over my shell and hit my feet. I love the smell of freshly watered food. :)

The last two days have had a gaggle of children walking by my domain. Yesterday they walked ever so slowly as they went by. Some of them looked so wide eyed and awed. I do love that look. Today, as they walked back to the school, a few pointed and squealed, giggled, and the teachers laughed. I rubbed against the fence. Had they asked, I would have stopped so they could touch my awesomeness.  

I did startle the UPS man. That is always a thrill for me.  A very grand day indeed.